Tag: emotional health

Three Ways to Recognize Cultural Trauma

March 12, 2025

Cultural trauma has harmed people deeply, overpowering how we operate, whether by society’s standards or family expectations, often an overlap of both. Here are some ways to understand whether it’s something that impacts you. If so, examine it so you can begin to heal.

  1. Separate cultural norms from trauma. Understand what you uniquely need according to who you are in dynamic ways, from a cultural perspective. What are the unique traits that define you in the community you’ve been a part of? What intrinsic interests do you have that are tied to your culture? These are the healthy aspects of cultural influence. Also identify the ways culture may feel restrictive and may even be harmful to your well being, sense of safety, and individuality.
  2. Pull apart what you know to be your beliefs versus society’s or family’s belief systems. Beliefs are deeply rooted and can be harder to pull apart versus understanding more tangible needs, such as what was mentioned in point one. We can be influenced by others’ perspective, especially family, but when families are enmeshed, meaning lack of clarity in how each person is different than the other in their own beliefs and views. Lines are blurred regarding what each person likes, wants and hopes for the future. This creates issues in setting boundaries and having others respect them.
  3. Notice how difficult or easy it is to disagree with cultural norms, especially related to how they do or don’t apply to your life. Is it taboo to do something outside of cultural norms? Would you be judged? Would you be shunned? Sometimes people living outside of cultural restrictions are even disowned.

Learn where the boundaries are between cultural demands and what you authentically seek out of life. It’s healthy to recognize these differences. It leads to the ability to say no. It leads to finding a sense of self after living under restrictive cultural mandates that may have been a barrier to peace, joy and the freedom to connect with ourselves. It leads to embracing the parts of culture that define us and separate from the ones that are enforced upon us.

Four Reflections on Nurturing Your Younger Wounded Self

December 9, 2024

If you have wounds from childhood that continue to come up and you’re not sure how to address them, write down these reflections to explore what you needed back then, and how those needs have been carried into adulthood.

After you’ve reflected, and maybe written some thoughts on them, make sure to take care of your current self. Going back into childhood and exploring the hurt can feel heavy. So take a walk, a nap, talk to someone you trust, or whatever soothes your soul.

  • When you see your younger self at a moment of deepest vulnerability what does that look like? What would you want to say to yourself in that moment?
  • What is something you now understand that you would like to show the child? Maybe it was something you were very confused about back then?
  • What would you want to give yourself? Is it an object, words, an embrace?
  • Lastly, what is the one thing your younger self must absolutely know to be able to thrive going forward?

When Nothing Works for Anxiety

December 4, 2024

In many immigrant families, there is already shame about expressing emotions. But then, you work through it enough to try to address difficult feelings. But nothing seems to work. Anxiety is especially guilt-inducing because it seems as though you should be able to control how worried you become about something. But what if we were to strip away the guilt, shame and judgmental thoughts about having emotions? It would create more room to examine why nothing is working.

Often, patients come in and they say, I’ve tried everything to calm anxiety but for some reason, nothing works. And what do I say? First, let’s put all that terrible judgment aside as best as possible. Once we do that, I take a closer look at two important things, technique and consistency.

So now, let’s go over some common problems with technique around three common anxiety reduction tools.

First, breathwork. You want to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Why does this matter? Because if you’re breathing in and out through your mouth, you’re actually taking in less oxygen and feeling more lighted-headed and anxious. You may even start to feel panicky.

Meditation. You wonder whether you’re doing it wrong, which gets in the way of allowing your mind to observe thoughts that are coming in. They can be scary, ugly, weird, silly, anxiety-provoking or boring, but whatever their nature, their just thoughts. See, judgment sneaks in even when we try to keep it at bay. But there isn’t a need to judge yourself on how you’re doing. If you’re sitting and taking the time to meditate, you’re doing it well.

Journaling. You may have been told to write down your anxious thoughts so that you can move them away from you. Or that writing out your thoughts can help you process them. But then you think, what should I write? If you go blank once you open up that journal, write about anything at all. Write about how you’re hungry or sleepy or have dishes to do. Write about how you’re bloated and annoyed. Write that you can’t think of anything to write about. Write down your grocery list. As you write random things, you’ll get to what’s underneath the surface. Take your time. You’ll get there.

Now, as far as all three, consistency is key. You may have tried one or all of these a few times here and there. But have you tried them consistently, every day for a couple weeks, a couple months? If you haven’t, try one for a month. See how that feels. Then you’ll have enough data to tweak the tool a bit. Technique and consistency bring results.

If you need some guidance around this, you might find Breathe and Release, a 12 month guided calming journal helpful. Go to the contact page and request more information.